The Surviving Records of Times Past
From: BUNGY the dangerless sports club BUNGY@brunel.ac.uk
Subject: BUMP
This is a tale of things that did not happen.
It is a tale of fog and darkness.
It is a tale of a journey into the wilderness.
It is a strange tale of things that go bump in the night.
(not to mention crunch, screech, clatter and thud).
So how was it that the journey back from Runnymede on Monday night took in
half the ancient monuments of Wiltshire ? For those that weren't there (ie.
everyone, seeing as it didn't happen) I shall now tell a little story...
Part One: The Gathering.
It was a dark a foggy night, as a group of brave adventurers - totally
unaware of the fact that they were brave adventurers - sat huddled over their
pints of most excellent beer discussing matters of the utmost gravity. But
suddenly the word came upon them and they were transfixed; that word was....
Dunkin Donuts, which is in fact two words so they ignored them. But then, out
of nowhere came the other word, and that word was Stonehenge, and to this word
they listened, and then made ready to undertake the dangerous quest. But first
the necessary provisions had to be procured, and the one adventurer who was
absent (also quite oblivious to the imminent departure) was sought.
The first leg of the journey took the adventurers North to the barren wastes of
the land known as Uxcrete, where two were lost, plucked from the group by a
sudden and irrational terror and watched by the remainder running screaming
to their fate...
But the necessary provisions were purchased along with the magic hat
(which could transform itself into an ice bucket). But then there appeared
before the band of travellers a shield of metal, and they said "It is a sign!",
and verily it was a Fosters sign, so they took it. And from this place they
departed speedily.
So from this empty land they departed, having been joined by one more fearless
traveller, and headed West.
End of Part One.
From: BUNGY the dangerless sports club BUNGY@brunel.ac.uk
Subject: BUMP2
Part 2: The Fog Closes In
As the brave band of travellers headed West, there came upon some amongst them
the dreaded curse of the replete bladder. The chariot in which they rode
moved ever swifter through the thickening gloom and the fiery sky shed an
ominous light upon them, so it would have been perilous to cast off the curse.
With she who is called Mother Clanger suffering hellish torment, they made
all speed towards the land where thefiery sky no longer burned, and once there
the curse was to be cast away, but still the chariot was not halted, and into
the winds above Mother Clanger was forced, in a vain attempt to be rid of the
curse.
The dilemma with which the travellers were faced was this - to risk the quest
by halting the chariot in the dusky outer realms of the narrow Stonelands, or
to condemn one of their member to the final, anguished throes of the curse.
Finally, the group decided to save Mother Clanger and others, who were also
beginning to suffer the initial creeping torment of the curse. The clinging
undergrowth and thickening, evil fog were braved by the cursed few, whilst
the rest awaited their hoped for return in the chariot.
[IF ANYONE HAS BUMP3 ETC, PLEASE MAIL IT TO INFO@aerial.org]
End of Part 2.
From: BUNGY the dangerless sports club BUNGY@brunel.ac.uk
Subject: Trip Report...
First trip to Le Viaduc de la Souleuvre; in brief.
After getting the minibus from Hillingdon Council, and the Green Card from
Watford, we were ready for the off in the bar at 6.30pm. The first novelty
of this trip was that the stereo in the (huge) minibus worked; the second
was the route that Vince Mike thought we should take to Portsmouth. Anyway,
we got there about 3/4hour late and couldn't find our extra passenger, so we
went to the pub and forgot about her...
Beers under the stairs on the ferry - thanks to Birthday Suit - helped us off
to sleep (yeah, I know, nobody usually SLEEPS - but this is a new year...)
and we arrived fairly awake to 7am Le Havre (6am British) which was dark; so
we blinded all oncoming traffic with our wrongly dipping lights and sped
South West. Having commented that Tancarville bridge would be good to jump
off, and sprayed the remains of BS's beer down the side of the bus, we arrived
at my favourite Hypermarket in time for opening. Loaded up with beer we set
off for Le Viaduc de la Souleuvre and the unfortunate discovery that the water
was not on so the toilets wouldn't flush (OK for the first ones, but after...)
After looking at the gaping valley below, jumpers were signed up and bounced
and swung their way across to the middle. At about this point the pnone rang and
our missing jumper appeared. Birthday Suit decided to wait until after lunch
to make his leap, by which time Vince had done two (feet first, he likes
whiplash) and Dougal had done hers at the third approach; Chunder had sort of
leapt sideways spiderlike but hadn't lived up to his name. Nobody was quite
sure why Herbie was wearing shorts (there was ice on the bridge...) and I
wasn't quite sure why I was going to jump - I think it was because I'd run
out of excuses.
Anyway - well before the end of lunch BS was parading in the near freezing
but sunny weather in a skimpy robe and a pair of Reeboks, and undeterred
from chatting up a couple of Aussies. Still, the Iron Chicken had to go
first - backwards videoing the departing platform - to be at the bottom for
BS's entrance. About the naked jump? Just come and see the video, but let it
be said now that we are considering calling him Christmas Tree from now on!
What next? Beer of course, via Le Mont Saint Michel to another Hypermarket
and then to Cherbourg and an Apple Sorbet with Calvados - and never did the
supply of beer dry up. Unfortunately 12 Screws managed to put a blemish on
his driving record by knocking out the speedo on a traffic island - but hey,
it WAS French and in the road, so he HAD to run it over...(shame about the kids
though Dave?)
After that? Just a bit of snow and bits falling off a mop - Oh yes, and
the stash is still in the roof...better do something about that!
Full story and pictures/video - MOnday 7pm in the Bar.
See Ewe There!
TIC
From: BUNGY the dangerless sports club BUNGY@brunel.ac.uk
Subject: 12Screws has his say...
From: 12 Screws Rowlinson me91dir@brunel.ac.uk
Dear Jon
What fun. I woke early this morning to take the wonderous Chieftan back to the
depot. Braving the torrid snowstorm, I got to the bus, leapt valiantly in,
turned the key, and........NOTHING. Not even a cough cough splutter.
There are several explanations for this.
a) The Battery was dead.
b) The Battery was frozen
c) Someone's nicked the battery
d) God doesn't like me.
I personally go for b). Anyway, L.B.H. were informed and are coming to pick it
up, which means that I don't have to walk back to Brunel in the cold.
As for the bit about the speedo and the curb.... This is my version.
On recent Bungy / Normandie trips, the minibus driver has been known to be
somewhat of a psychopath. Driving at insane speeds with total disregard for
the frogg... sorry French road user. I hoped to be somewhat different. And for
most of the trip I was exemplary, (except for the odd curb).
It had been a long day. Everyone in the back was asleep, or dozing off and the
trips between Hypermarkets were relatively uneventful due to the excellent
driver. "Let's wake the bastards up, thought I. I wonder if I can drive the
minibus on two wheels at 70mph" Unfortunately there was so much beer in the bus
that we were unable to get off the ground for very long. And as for the speedo,
It still works doesn't it??? What's your problem???
Anyway, Hugs and Kisses
Dave
From: BUNGY the dangerless sports club BUNGY@brunel.ac.uk
Subject: Minutes (last week)
BUNGY Minutes
22/11/'93
Members Present:
Mother Clanger
12 Screws
The Iron Chicken
Nayan Patel
Tim
Vince
Nige
Philip
Sally
(Dwain?) Dribbly
Kat
The Late Captain Chunder
S.T.S.O. Celery
Reading of the Last Minutes:
Minutes were sent to all members by e-mail. Those present at
the last meeting approved the minutes as being an accurate record
of the proceedings.
Matters Arising from the Last Minutes:
1.The Birthday Jump - Photos passed round, B'day Suit to write
a report of the trip for Le Nurb. Video to be shown in the
bar on Friday if the video in the bar is fixed in time.
Should be worth a few laughs and a good bit of sponsorship -
should we run a collection not to show it?
2.Football - supposed to be being organised as we
speak.....but I'll believe it when I see it.
3.Cambridge Sponsorship - GET IT IN! We've had next to nothing
back, so we're all crap.
4.Parachuting - There will either be a report or a punishment
next week. Get your suggestions in, it could be fun.
5.Paragliding - Report next week. Waiting for a reply from the
company T.I.C. suggested last time.
Any Other Business:
1.Badge Presentation - A Hackett badge was presented to John
the Cook for knowing the rhyme about the P&O; flag and
generally being a good bloke. It was given pride of place at
the top of the hat (sorry - no elastic) and the whole thing
will be auctioned for charity when the hat's covered.
2.Next Meeting - Very close voting for once. T.I.C. used
casting vote for Runny in spite of proposing last time that
we never went there again. Ho hum...Could he want that photo
back?
Meeting adjourned to watch the unedited trip video.
Late News:
The Environmental Investigation Agency are trying to organise a
sponsored jump for the Rhino as there aren't many left. Details
so far are: 100 sponsorship needed, jump free sometime around
the end of January with the UK Bungee Club (As it happens
someone's put their newsletter in the pidgeon hole). the aim is
to have teams from several universities, with a small prize for
the one that raises most. More details soon.
BUNGY Minutes
29/11/'93
Members Present:
Mother Clanger
Dark Menace
The Iron Chicken
Dribbly
Kat
Andy
Reading of the Last Minutes:
Minutes were passed around at the meeting, and comments were
made that they weren't very interesting. The minutes were passed
anyway as it was agreed that this was a reflection on the meeting
not the minutes.
Matters Arising from the Last Minutes:
1.Crap and Boring meeting - as already mentioned the last
meeting wasn't up to the usual standards, possibly due to
going to see the video. THIS MUST NOT HAPPEN AGAIN.
2.The Video - was shown in the bar on Friday, people got
trousered and B'day was had up on stage to increase the
embarrassment. More was raised for showing the video than
for not showing it, and an account of the trip has been
submitted for Le Nurb.
3.Parachuting - PUNISHMENT! The first big fun of the evening,
Nige hasn't turned up, given in a report or in any way let
us know what's going on. That's more than two weeks late,
and last week's minutes indicate that something must be
done. Still too sober to think of anything suitable, so more
on this later....
4.Paragliding - Also not present etc. but there was no reason
for punishment yet, but there will be next week if there's
no news.
5.MONEY - WHERE'S YOUR SPONSORSHIP?
Any Other Business:
1.Christmas dinner / piss-up /
food-stuffing-down-throat-y-thing - anyone for a curry, last
Monday of term, combined with a P.T.S.H. party? Also some
closed business, so if you're feeling guilty it's time to
start worrying.
2.Vote of No Confidence in those on the last trip who didn't
get wankered, except 12 Screws 'cause he was driving -
Unanimous. Apparently this includes some of Exec, so
something interesting could be called for - suggestions on a
post card please.
3.The Chicken Picture - it's been digitised and is being
enhanced at the moment. It's even been photocopied, enlarged
and stuck up in Runny halls. Oh dear...
4.Kidnappings for RAG - Land's End and Bishop's Rock
suggested, as was Pip for not doing the RAG jump. Visit /
kidnap from as many SUs as possible on the way, photos to be
auctioned. More closed business ( it gets worse).
5.Rocky Horror - ALL members recommended to go on Wed. 15th in
suitable dress / undress.
6.Remanding in Custard - Dougal was proposed for this honour
for not turning up, not drinking enough, spilling beer and
not going to that place we didn't go to, honest.
7.Expulsion - Wendy to be expelled ( even if she hasn't joined
yet ) for uselessness in the face of getting wet,
specifically making crap excuses for not being thrown in the
shower.
8.Dwain - "I had so many that I had to turn them all down
'cause I knew there'd be a lot from Uxbridge." Fair enough,
but "She's never been known to do that before."
9.Bummer Boy - an excellent pub to be visited on the Land's
End trip, but they probably aren't having lockins any more
as they got busted.
10.Beer nuts - ask I.C. for details, Andy set light to his. Kat
complained about having slimy hands in a related incident,
and there was a vote of censure passed against Dwain for
wastage of perfectly good ( and probably a damned sight
better than at Uxbridge ) beer. Peanuts, peanuts, every
where and all a drop to drink.
11.Duel - I.C. v Dwain. Pints of water at zero paces outside,
abandoned.
12.PQ for Land's End!
At this stage the meeting left the bar and proceeded with the
expulsion. With much local support a bath full of water was used
for the purpose. No crap excuses this time, and some spirited
resistance. Then Five Hit Dunkin Donuts and Southend, it pisses
with rain, I.C. goes swimming as usual, alone as usual, calls
everyone else crap as usual and gets cold on the way home. Many
thanks to Andy for driving - a true credit to the club.
Editor's Note;
You're all crap!!!!!!!!
From: BUNGY the dangerless sports club BUNGY@brunel.ac.uk
Subject: Last minutes...
BUNGY Minutes
06/12/'93
Members Present:
Mother Clanger
Captain Chunder
The Iron Chicken
Vince
Andy
Reading of the Last Minutes:
Some of the notes to the minutes were read after Andy got
them from his car where they'd been since last week, in spite of
the note on the board asking him to leave them in the pigeon
hole. There was a consensus that there should be a bumper double
issue of the minutes, to be approved next week.
Matters Arising from the Last Minutes:
Nothing - see above.
Any Other Business:
1.No Runny members present - I feel something silly coming
on...
2.D.M. spotted in D.J. - too tidy by half.
3.Hackett make their bungy for the UK in Ireland.
4.The attendance is now in the realms of last year for the
second meeting in succession.
5.Rocky Horror - moved to the first Thursday next term. I.C.
suggested we should go to the Christmas Dinner dressed for
Rocky.
6.A member was spotted in the Academy who "didn't know there
was a meeting". Useless. Just for the record we meet in the
Uxbridge bar at 7pm every Monday. Every three meetings or so
we go to Runnymede, meeting as above then going by minibus.
Meetings are a good time to let us know what you want to do
and to find out what's going on, and besides that they're
fun so try it.
7.We're off to Runny to find a Late exec member...
We found Kat easily enough. "Missed the bus" it seems. Whoops.
"Going down the bar later." OK, see you there. We didn't, but on
our later return to find her we found the Late Dwain who was
summarily kidnapped and taken to Uffington Castle and Wayland's
Smithy after resistance befitting a true member, thus absolving
her from the usual Burial at Sea. Thanks again to Andy.
From: BUNGY the dangerless sports club BUNGY@brunel.ac.uk
Subject: Final Event this Term
OK - some people seem to have not heard about the final event of term;
Xmas Dinner & PTSH Party.
Meet as usual at 7pm in the bar (NO BEER TO BE CONSUMED).
Translocate to the Koh I Noor II for food. They do have non-curry options!
Stuff ourselves completely stoopid, wine to be consumed.
Translocate to a nearby location for the PTSH Party where large quantities of
PTSH are to be consumed in order to get rid of the binfull of crushed ice that
was purchased some time ago...
Cost: Food is quite reasonable. PTSH contributions of about 5squids will be
required.
Let me know NOW!!!
From: BUNGY the dangerless sports club BUNGY@brunel.ac.uk
Subject: Thijn
BUNGY Minutes
31/01/'94
Members Present:
Mother Clanger
Dark Menace
The Iron Chicken
Andy
Vince
Reading of the Last Minutes:
It's been a while since we last had a meeting as such and
nobody remembered the last minutes.
Matters Arising from the Last Minutes:
1.None, as explained above.
Any Other Business:
1.AGM - to be held in the Bar on Monday 14th February 7.00
p.m.. Advertising and list of required posts to be put on
the notice board for nominations. See also the list below.
2.Parachuting - Nige should get in touch with D.M. about
advertising the parachuting. Why hasn't he done this
already?
3.Another disco - 9th March. Another Wednesday, more tickets
to sell, more money to make.
Nominations for Exec.
Some of these posts are required for the Union, most of them
are just useful for the club. For your information and pleasure
there now follows a party pol......we apologise for the brief
disturbance on the line...a brief description of the posts to be
filled.
Required posts :
Chairperson - This is supposed to involve co-ordinating the
other exec. members so that they all do the right thing at the
right time, and getting in touch with T.I.C. to get him to
organise trips to Normandie, as well as the obvious chairing of
meetings. Over the last two years this has gone from doing
everything to doing nothing - look at the attendance list on the
minutes for proof! In short it's what you make of it.
Treasurer - Mainly there to wrestle with the Union's strange
accounting practices, dodgy billings and so on. Keep an eye on
the accounts, pay money in and take it out as needed. Next year
you might even have some money to play with.
Useful Posts :
Secretary - Keep minutes of the meetings, put up official
notices like the list now on the notice board, keep the
membership list and not much else. Easy really, anyone else want
to try?
Publicity - Not a lot this year as nobody's asked for
anything to be publicised.
Runny Rep - Our eyes and ears at Runnymede who sometimes
publicises meetings up there and looks for the clinically insane
on the other campus. It helps to live there if you're thinking of
applying for this one.
If you want to stand for a post put your name on the list on the
board before the 14th, then come to the meeting. If you don't
want to stand for a post, ask yourself why not. It's not much of
a club if you don't get involved, and if you stand you've got a
good chance of getting your pet activity organised.
From: BUNGY the dangerless sports club BUNGY@brunel.ac.uk
Subject: Welcome to the Machine.
Greetings, rabble.
This is a trip report (and welcome to the machine for our farthest flung member)
Friday 11th saw the beginning of an eventful little trip - I had already had
bad feelings about it and the omens were not good, but we went ahead anyway!
In the bar we were all assembled at the prescribed hour (THATS A FIRST!), VM
got the bus and brought it round to the pond where we all boarded and it seemed
we would leave on time. Personally I found this hard to believe. I was right.
Everyone got their passports? Luckily Wilf only had to go to Mill Hall for it.
Try again? No fuel. But after a short stop at the Esso 'Snack n Shop' we were
off, and only 20 minutes late... Perhaps things would go smoothly from now on.
Surely enough we picked up our lone Kingston voyageur (the other 6 chickened)
and headed off down the A3. A quick tardis stop later and we were still looking
good for a pint in the Wig & Pen before embarkation, but then Chunderstudy
struck - we pulled over just in time. We weren't so lucky second time and he
had to make do with the back of the seats and the front window (yeuch!). The
full horror was not evident until outside lighting displayed mushed rice pudding
covering the entire side of the bus/windows, and for an encore his final
performance was a virtuoso affair in front of the assembled Brittany Ferries
clientele!
Oh well - once on board there was beer to be had, and an [almost] live band
before crashing in our alloted reclining seats, for those who realised that
it wasn't actually a midsummer afternoon that is [the fact that the furniture
was strapped in stacks to the deck should have been a clue...?]
And then, well before any civilised dawn, there was France; this landing on
Sword beach was probably less eventful than some, but the maturing chunder made
the bus fairly hazardous. So first stop (and third) was a 24hour self service
Jet Wash - 20Frs later and the bus was gleaming! [You'd be amazed how much you
can polish up a rice pudding!] THen whilst the inside was left to Chunderstudy
dawn finally greeted Caen with assorted church bells. This was obviously far
too cultured for us so we headed for the hypermarket!
By the time we finally headed West towards Le Viaduc de la Souleuvre the sun
was shining the bus was about as habitable as it ever gets. Arriving early has
the advantage that you don't get charged for the car park, but the rather
serious disadvantage that the toilets are locked. Its about now that you tend
to realise just what you've got yourself into, and if you've done it before
it all comes back....either way a tiny little voice starts to ask you quite
what you're here for.
After a bit of bargaining, well actually sod all bargaining and a lot of giving
in, Vince and the Iron Chicken were relieved of their jumps and Richard and
Chunderstudy were relieved of their money. Then the rest were temporarily
relieved of their sanity. Lynne rediscovered hers in the nick of time, but
Wilf made up for it with a second bout - as did Julian. T-shirts, videos and
photographs collected, we finally left and headed off away from the setting sun
and went to indulge in a little more culture at Bayeux before a final visit to
the hypermarket via assorted backroads. Careful not to make the same mistake
twice, we went in search of sustenance before joining the queue at the port.
A second expedition concluded that Ouistreham is a ghost town, inhabited solely
by English tourists, but doing a good line in very old Calvados.
The return trip had a little more crashing and a little less overindulgence
aboard the Normandy Duck, although the chips and beans were once more consumed
with gusto! And so we returned to Brunal, minus Joe Cocker and The Two of Us,
plus one blanket but no roadsigns for a change!
So, next time its 11th - 13th March (via Le Havre by P&O;, which is already
booked!!). Get along on Monday if you can for news of this as well as the
parachtuing and parascending etc etc.